WILLIAM: Evolution Of Meh

The elevator pitch for William is simple. Two scientists clone a Neanderthal from birth, raise him in a lab and attempt to introduce him into the real world. A boy out of time story with heart. A premise, which on paper, sounded intriguing, to say the least. Unfortunately, this was not the final result.

Written by J.T. Allen and Tim Disney, who also helms the picture, William is a curio taken in entirely the wrong direction. Each scene feels disjointed, with a nonlinear plot structure focusing more on the melodramatic rather than the more realistic issues a person in William’s situation might face. The screenplay worries more about family dramatics rather than building a narrative the audience could get behind.

And then there is the ludicrous finale, but let’s not get ahead of ourselves.

A Fantastic Plot — In Theory

Fame-hungry Professor Julian Reed (Waleed Zuaiter) meets plucky young biologist Dr. Barbara Sullivan (Maria Dizzia). Together the pair decide to clone and give birth to a Neanderthal baby from a specimen found on a recent archaeological dig by Reed’s mentor Dr. Thomas (played by brilliant character actress Beth Grant). In pursuit of higher knowledge about our ancestors, the pair find it best to raise the anomalous child named William (Will Brittian) in a controlled lab mocked up to resemble what one might say is a healthy living environment.

Told through a series of flashbacks and flash-forwards, we are shown dilemmas ranging from William’s need for affection as a toddler to being bullied in his youth only to realize that he possesses superior strength to the rest of the world. The inevitable break up of his parents/creators soon follows. William is taken from the sterile environment he has always known only to be raised on a tiny island town by his doting mother Barbara. This gives William the outdoors he has always craved as a Neanderthal while inadvertently keeping him in a controlled, water-locked habitat. Through his interactions with kids his own age, we find out William has a much more developed intelligence than expected. A confusing aspect to the character given he thinks in blunt literal-isms with no concept of sarcasm or humor.

It is at this point in the narrative where the audience begins to settle into a rhythm of characters and motivations. Unfortunately, it doesn’t take long to realize the semi-interesting sci-fi drama you thought you were watching has taken a deep dive into the ridiculous.

A Turn For The Worse

Somewhere around the middle of the film, William’s father tries to get back into the good graces of his son while telegraphing his personal life as an opportunistic jerk with predictable tropes. A blinding example being his relationship with a much younger grad student named Sarah (Susan Park in one of the few roles with any heart). Becoming William’s tutor, they develop feelings for one another because of course, they do! This creates a rift between William and his father which leads to an egregious and stunted ending which hits like a club over the head (excuse the caveman pun). Rushed, careless and most of all ridiculous, the third act feels like a completely different film, making every character, William included, completely unlikable as a result.

For a film paced as melodramatically slow as this was, the ending sprints by at a head-scratchingly insane pace, fading to black at the most “What the hell just happened?” moment, only to immediately fade in on an unexplained and unintentionally hysterical capper which makes anything you had just witnessed until then both null and void. In retrospect, I understand what the writer/director Tim Disney was going for here, but the jarring way he constructed these two scenes leaves the viewer jaded by the whole experience.

Has No One Heard Of Social Media?

A final gripe of the film is the lack of celebrity William faces. He is a Neanderthal living in the modern world for godsakes! The film never addresses a living, breathing Neanderthal dealing with the unavoidable fame of our celebrity-obsessed society. Give me a talk show interview with William when he is older, a Facebook page, a Twitter account – something. Anything! This kid would be a sensation online, no doubt spearheaded by his terrible father in some disgusting cash grab rivaling Kardashian level platitudes. Hell, most people in the film act like they never knew William existed when they encounter him in public. Guess what? Everyone would know about William. He’s the only Neanderthal on the planet. Nary an autograph, really?

With hopes held high, I truly wanted to enjoy William as a high concept drama. Often, I questioned if I was missing some key plot point. But no, try as I might, I never connected with this film. Mind you, there were moments here and there where I felt the film would pull out of the skid, but with a slope this slippery it went straight off a cliff. Is it too soon to ask for a reboot?

Sometimes a film looks great on paper but doesn’t find its fruition and Film Inquiry would love to hear about what movies didn’t live up to your expectations. Please leave your comments below and keep the conversation going.

William will see release in the U.S. on April 12th.