Film Inquiry

How To Use A 30 Day Free Streaming Trial Correctly

For the next 30 days, Amazon own my soul. This isn’t the first time – in fact, whenever I subscribe to a new movie streaming service, I have a habit of trying to watch everything I want in that 30 day window so I cancel before I start having to pay. There are plenty of good reasons to stay subscribed to a website (and I’m not saying you shouldn’t), and there are a plethora of good streaming services available, but if you’re on a tight budget taking advantage of a free trial is the only option.

To do this, sacrifices have to be made – for the next month you have to wave goodbye to friends, family and all professional responsibilities. Taking up a free trial offer isn’t as easy as it seems – you have to bring yourself up to the task, and here is how you too can do it.

Pick the perfect time to start the trial

To make sure you have no distractions from friends or family, who will always get in the way of your viewing habits like the bastards they are, you first have to choose a time when you are unlikely to see them. For example, my housemates AND my family are on holidays at the moment, meaning this is the perfect time to start the trial. If they were still in the country, they’d likely start suggesting films that they want to watch – but in the free trial period you have to be as selfish as possible, this is your time and money on the line here, and so all movies have to be chosen wisely.

If you’re in a relationship, it’s probably best not to start the trial – again, your partner will start suggesting films that you may not want to watch, and it’s probably for the best that you don’t end your relationship over an argument of whether or not to watch Rock of Ages or a three-hour long Akira Kurosawa epic.

rock-of-ages
Rock of Ages: still not as good as Seven Samurai (source: Warner Bros. Pictures)

It is also for the best that you take time off work, as all time spent not watching movies is time wasted. If you do need to work in order to, y’know, afford the cost of living, change your hours from full-time to part-time for one month, and strategically take shifts whenever you get bored of watching movies.

Picking What to Watch

Now, here comes the tricky bit (if you didn’t consider abandoning your loved ones tricky that is). Choosing what movies to watch when time and money are on the line involves developing a sense of elitism towards your cinematic choices that should otherwise be frowned upon. Firstly, you need to read multiple lists of “the best films of all time”, and add all the ones you haven’t seen to your watchlist.

Then, browse through all the different genre pages and add all the films you haven’t seen but want to to your list. If you’re like me, this will probably leave you with about 100 or so movies on the list, which you’re never going to have time to watch. Here is how to modify this.

Firstly, delete all TV shows from the list. You may have plenty of time to watch all nine seasons of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia (and it is worth watching), but it comes at the expense of an ever expanding film list. The sooner you watch every film you’ve chosen, the sooner you have your life back; think of a free trial period less of an opportunity to try out a streaming service and more of a hostage situation.

It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia: the best comedy on TV. It’s not a film – forget about watching it. (source: 20th Television)

Secondly, delete anything that you’ve added to your list that you’ve been told is awful, that you’ve added due to a morbid curiosity to see how bad it is. There is a time and a place to see Adam Sandler’s Jack and Jill, and when you’ve got a limited time period, it’s definitely not then.

Also remove anything that you’ve never heard of, but have added based on the title or synopsis. For example, there’s a film on Amazon Prime called Cum to Live, the IMDB synopsis of which tells me is a “low budget comedy about safe sex”. It sounds terrible, and naturally I want to watch it – but it’s probably not the best way to spend 90 minutes when there are far better alternatives.

Finally, remove things you’ve already seen. If you’ve added a film that you saw as a child to your list in a fit of nostalgia, remove it instantly for the sake of your sanity, as you will realize it’s probably not as good as you remembered it. You’ve destroyed relationships with family and friends, you may have even lost your job – it’s best not to also destroy happy childhood memories for the sake of re-watching Lilo and Stitch.

Lilo and Stitch: probably not as good as you remembered it (source: Buena Vista Pictures)

Start watching NOW

Once you’ve done everything on this list, start watching. Don’t stop unless it’s necessary – sleep deprivation won’t kill you, so you can carry on for days at a time. Make sure to stock up on microwaveable ready meals before you start – you will need to eat, but cooking a proper meal takes time and effort, so buy junk food in bulk as if you were stocking up for living in the post-apocalypse. Also buy sandwich bags – if you put the streaming service on a phone or tablet, this means you can just insert it into the sandwich bag and you can keep watching the film whilst you’re in the shower.

Finally, make sure you have fun whilst watching – after all, your social life is on the line here, so it’s best to make the 30 days feel worthwhile. If you’ve done everything on this list, it is the perfect time to start the trial – so drop everything, and let the 30 days begin.

In all seriousness, my question is this: do you try and watch everything on a streaming service in a 30 day trial? Or do you always plan to subscribe to the service when you sign up? 

(top image source: Jack and Jill – Columbia Pictures)

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