THERE’S SOMETHING WRONG WITH THE CHILDREN: Great Title, Great Film

When I heard there was a new horror movie coming out called There’s Something Wrong With The Children, my first thought – as a parent – was of course there is. My second thought was, that’s a great title, and my third thought was, I need to see a trailer. So, I looked it up and what I saw had promise. Small intimate cast, set in the middle of the woods with mysterious things happening while kids were being all kinds of creepy, I was down with that. The trailer gave me serious Sam Raimi vibes and I’m saying that as a compliment, I had to see it. Last night, I got my chance.

Drinking Was a Bad Idea

The movie starts with a bit of mild drinking by Margaret (played by Alisha Wainwright) and her boyfriend Ben (Zach Gilford from Midnight Mass). They’re joined by their friends Thomas and Ellie (Carlos Santos and Amanda Crew) and their two children, Lucy (Briella Guiza) and Spencer (David Mattle), who, I have to say, didn’t seem like they had anything wrong with them… yet. I was almost sure that would change, surely a weekend in the cabins wouldn’t go smoothly, would it? Jump to the next morning and the children are full of energy while the adults are slightly hungover with the bright idea of hiking front and center.

Margaret has the forethought to pack drinks because no good hike is complete without alcohol and they set off into the woods where they come upon a large abandoned structure. I don’t know if it was the drinks or just pure curiosity but of course they decide to investigate – hell, how could you not investigate? Inside the dilapidated shelter, rubble and trash were scattered about (as one would expect) but then there were the dead birds. Dead birds are never a good sign and the children playing with them was an even worse one. They’re all drawn to a deep pit that seemed to be calling to them, the children most of all. Spencer even suffered a nose bleed and that’s when they decided it was time to go.

There had been an obvious tension between Thomas and Ellie and when we got back to camp we finally learned why, it was a wife swap situation gone wrong. Ellie had a much better time than Thomas would have liked and everything has been awkward after that. Margaret offers for her and Ben to babysit so the strained couple could rekindle their spark and Ellie accepted, Thomas practically ran back to their cabin. After the kids are in bed, Margaret and Ben share more drinks while they vape THC and have deep conversations about the possibility of having kids of their own, so far Ben HAS seemed like he would be a good father. The next day is when everything goes wrong.

This movie was directed by Roxanne Benjamin and the long tracking shot the following morning as Ben and Margaret slowly figure out the children are missing is my favorite in the film. The entire movie is shot beautifully with interesting angles and camera movement but I’m a sucker for tracking shots and this one is a masterclass.

Things Go from Bad to Worse

I’m going to kind of blast through the rest of the movie for a few reasons: one, this is a review and if I tell you every little thing you’ll have no reason to watch, and this movie is definitely worth a watch. Two, I’m not writing the novelization of this film even though I totally would and would have an amazing time doing so. Ben tracks the children down at the abandoned structure and watches them jump to their apparent deaths into the pit that was calling them all earlier. He’s obviously in shock from what he just witnessed but also, how is he going to explain that to his friends?

Luckily for him, when he returns to camp, the kids come running out of their parent’s cabin, seemingly no worse for the wear. Babysitting job well done. The only problem is, he saw what he saw. Or did he? I wrote in my notes (jokingly) that the second act should be titled: There’s Something Wrong With The Ben because the next portion of the movie works to make us (the viewer) and Ben feel like maybe he’s losing it a little. We learn that he has suffered from stability issues in the past and everyone piles on adding to his doubt. Also, as a side note, the music choice when he returns to camp is a chef’s kiss. I loved everything about it.

Quickly Ben’s history of issues, coupled with the fact that there most definitely was something very wrong with the children, cause the adult relationships to go down like the Titanic. Everyone is at odds. This leads to a brilliant third act that divided the group and took them out one by one. I would go into detail but like I mentioned, I don’t want to spoil all the surprises, of which, there are many.

What the Movie Got Right

From cinematography to sound design, to pace and resolution, There’s Something Wrong With The Children got a lot of things right. The film was beautifully shot which is something that some horror films are lacking, here it’s apparent that it was a labor of love. Guiza and Mattle (the aforementioned children) did an outstanding job which is something I always find as hit or miss. Sometimes the kids of a movie are part of the downside, but not here. That is taking nothing away from the adults, all of which brought their A games. Actors have a way of overacting or slipping into melodrama when they’re handed a horror script but again, here, everything is done with a seriousness that made it all feel real. Not giving in to what could have become tongue-in-cheek humor about the situation was the right choice, they played it all right down the middle.

What the Movie Got Wrong

It’s hard to find things (in a movie I thoroughly enjoyed) that they got wrong. One thing that could have been better explored was the pit and why and how it effected the characters. That said, not knowing the why or how was an effective way of keeping us guessing, so, was it really wrong to not explain in greater detail? I think audiences today are too use to having the answers handed to us on a school lunch tray, propped up next to our little carton of milk, that we forget we can think for ourselves. It really is okay to just enjoy a piece of art that leaves us asking questions and make up our own minds.

Conclusion:

There’s Something Wrong With The Children is a love letter to horror cinema. Many times while I was watching I caught glimpses of little nods to the great films of the past. We had our Sam Raimi spinning camera, our unknown evil (bugs, was it really bugs?), and at the end, we got a very fun final girl moment that is one of the best in recent memory. Roxanne Benjamin and company have gone into the kitchen and cooked us up something that not only looks good on your Instagram feed but tastes fantastic too. If you like your horror movies to have a fast-paced plot that still leaves time for scares and character development, then you need to see this film.

There’s Something Wrong with the Children will release in theaters on January 17, 2023!

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