THE COBBLER Trailer: Open Letter To Adam Sandler
Dear Mr. Sandler,
I was one of the few people who defended your recent movies, citing that people are working because of you. Then Jack and Jill came out. How many careers did that movie kill? It shouldn’t haven even been a movie, it should have been a SNL skit that got a thumbs down by Lorne Michaels. Oh and what’s this, you have another movie coming out? Right below is the international trailer for your next film,The Cobbler. No!
Stop, Sandler! Just Stop! Now I understand this is directed and written by Thomas Joseph McCarthy and that’s fine. My gripe is that Clifford “Method Man” Smith and Dustin Hoffman are in this. You DON’T have Method Man without Redman! The two go together like peanut butter and oreos which should inseparable. Then we have Mr. Hoffman who is arguably one of the nicest yet most talented actors in the world. Please, for God’s sake, don’t make him do anything over the top like this thing with Al Pacino. I just want his integrity to remain intact. Let’s…let’s not repeat the later years of Marlon Brando when he was in The Island of Dr Moreau. I beg you!
I just have to ask what you were thinking? Did you read the script? I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to come off as an ass. I’m that way by nature. Look at the scene in this trailer where you take the shoes of the dude with the hot girlfriend. You take his identity and then walk into her apartment while she’s showering. Anyone who can put the clues together knows how creepy and lame that is.
Then there are the other odd bits. One example is when you’re tasering yourself. Some people might look at that and say “hey, things are looking up”. My opinion is that you’re 48 years old as of 2014, you don’t have to be so crass anymore. Another example is when you’re in the whole zombie/rotting corpse outfit harassing those kids. There is a place for that, it’s called your front lawn. If you’re going to do it, you might as well have a garden hose in hand. This is basic, Adam!
I’m going to be serious here. You are a terrific dramatic actor as Punch Drunk Love and Reign Over Me have proven. I don’t think you’re at your limit yet. You’re still capable of bringing something amazing to the big screen. We want to see it if you still care. Why would I suddenly bring about the subject of whether you care or not? Jack and Jill, Adam. Our pasts haunt us forever… like Joel Schumacher and the erect nippled corpse of 90’s Batman.
The Cobbler comes to U.S theaters March 13th 1015 and U.K theatres 22nd May 2015. For a list of international release dates, click here.
Who’s your favorite Adam Sandler collaborator? Comment below.
(top image source: Image Entertainment)
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