SUPERVIZED: Justice Beleaguered

For the past decade, superhero films have been churned out ad nauseam where one hits the cinema as soon as another exits and the trend has not slowed a bit. Impossibly chiseled actors dawning skin-tight uniforms against a green screen, giving the rest of the free world an intangible body goal, but hey, this is make-believe so let us not get too riled up over realistic body image. Supervized does the opposite while asking the more interesting question, what happens to a superhero who is past their prime? A concept, when pondered upon, gave me some hope for a fun film-watching experience.

What if, say, Johnny Storm, The Human Torch, developed dementia and had no control over his power and burned down a city? What would be the consequence or resolution, what with his past record of saving the world? A brilliant idea for a movie. Or so I thought. Instead, Supervized takes a plot, which could have had some smidgen of heartbreaking gravitas and instead diminished it down to a feature-length fart joke with no actual resolution.

Director Steve Barron opted to make a play it safe slog which has no actual heroes to speak of. But we’ll get to that. There may be a minor SPOILER or two going further, though nothing you can’t literally see in the trailer. For those not in the know, Steve Barron is no stranger to the comic book genre, having helmed the original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles from 1990. For some, not a series to be taken seriously, but in my opinion, the first film goes to some dark places, i.e. the main villain being crushed by vigilante Casey Jones with a garbage truck. Coincidentally, Shredder bested the Turtles leaving Master Splinter to step in. Not much different from the finale of the film being discussed. But let’s not get ahead of ourselves.

You’re Better Than This

The cast consists of Tom Barrenger, Louis Gossett Jr. and Beau Bridges as the main superheroes. All credible actors, given their up and down careers jumping from memorable roles; Platoon, An Officer And A Gentleman and The Descendants being some of their best to lesser-known projects actors have to take because– bills to pay. I have honestly enjoyed each of these men in the past and felt slighted having to see them stoop to such slock. And this is the leitmotif of the film, no respect for our accomplished elders both in script and execution.

On to the next problem. If you have not watched the trailer linked below, stop reading. Watch it and read on. I’ll wait. (Warning: SPOILERS ABOUND)

Welcome back. You’ve now seen pretty much the entire film start to finish. This needs to stop. Trailer editors of the world, you have one job, to entice the audience, not to tell you’re own tale or give away the whole movie. You are not the director and have no right to spoil the film for the rest of us. That’s my job critically as long as I add a SPOILER WARNING, which I did, TWICE.

What you see in the trailer is exactly what you get. Only, worse. Thankfully the trailer is a tight two minutes eighteen seconds whereas the film drags us along with doddering old folks who come across more like mental patients than the elderly showing no respect for the original concept being languished dirty jokes and less than snappy quips. Supervized would have served itself better to have taken a serious tone to the material instead of the drab slapdash plot decided upon. Nothing here sticks, leaving the story dreary and ultimately forgettable.

Is It Too Late For A Gritty Reboot?

Supervized tries hard to walk the line between traditional comedy and goofy comedy, while never considering the idea of making a comic book movie for the ages, literally and figuratively. What would have been so hard about taking the screenplay to a dark place? Supers being stripped of their powers by an uncaring government. Supers coming to grips with being powerless for the first time in their lives. Supers becoming a liability to be feared and then exploited by an archvillain only to be undone by those less likely. Instead, we get viagra jokes and senility played for laughs.

There is little to no fun to be found other than the occasional outburst by of profanity just to remind you of what you’re watching. Given the right script, this could have been meaningful and sincere, even powerful. But no, watching a man fart fire to propel a wheelchair across the room wins the day. This is pathetic even for today’s standards of comedy. I found it a task to laugh once if at all at the lame-duck humor all the while wishing I was watching this same concept as a series taken to the limit on any of the streaming services this dreck will inevitably end up on. But alas, we get to watch old actors in ill-fitting costumes debase themselves instead.

And don’t get me started on the animated opening credits which come across like a motion comic made by a fifth-grader. If that alone doesn’t detour you right off I honestly wonder what will.

Was Betty White Busy?

I lay no blame on the actors when I speak of the ineptitude of Supervized. Given nothing of value comedically to work with the cast does their job best they can. If anything, the sheer presence of some recognizable talent was enough of a draw to see the film though I expected far more from such an original idea given the genre, only to be let down by everything else.

My biggest gripe is the lack of respect for what they had. Imagine a Grant Morrison, Alan Moore, or Neil Gaiman creating this world, where actual emotion, tension or god forbid plot. One could only imagine. But for now, we are left with Supervized. A sophomoric comedy which never takes advantage of its own originality.

What trailer totally ruined the movie experience for you? Leave a comment below and get the conversation going.

Watch Supervized