SCARECROWS: By The Numbers Slasher That Peaks Too Soon
Scarecrows, for many, are a reasonable source of some semi-rational fear. Though genuinely harmless, their uncanny looks and ragdoll posture basically makes them resemble corpses. Therefore, it’s not shocking that they’ve been used in media to frighten audiences before, from Doctor Who to Batman and the less intentional Worzel Gummidge, the latter having caused an unfortunate amount of childhood nightmares for many.
In Scarecrows, they are shown as the victims rather than the danger itself, but even this creative use of an iconic object of terror doesn’t help to elevate the film above any other generic slasher.
Premise
Scarecrows, despite sharing its name with an ’80s cult horror film, features a different plot altogether. This time around, we follow four teenagers as they vacation – for some reason – to a cornfield and soak up the sun whilst navigating their dull romantic lives and form various, equally uninteresting love triangles. Only we’re shown at the start that a deranged serial killer is on the loose, turning innocent people into scarecrows and leaving them to be eaten by birds, their mouths sewn shut so they can’t scream for help.
If this had been a later plot revelation that had been built up rather than a cold open, then Scarecrows might have been able to generate some tension in its largely pointless story. Regrettably, this isn’t the decision that director Stu Stone made, so you’re left waiting as a viewer for the boring leads to be systemically killed off in a manner with no mystery. Hitchc*ck may have said that giving the audience information not provided to the audience is a surefire way to create tension, but here it works to the film’s detriment.
A Derivative Monster
Whilst the images provided from the killer’s chosen method of murder may prove creepily intriguing at times, the man responsible for them seems like little more than a mishmash of other slashers, and ultimately less than the sum of his parts. Through Stone’s use of chiaroscuro, you barely see his face, though it doesn’t particularly matter as no more personality would be added for displaying it clearly. His cowboy hat and vest categorize him as any other redneck villain you can possibly bring to mind, but connotation alone doesn’t make a cool killer, and Scarecrows proves this.
…Is This A Comedy?
Though the trailer and premise both attempt to mark out Scarecrows as a freaky body horror movie, a huge portion of the runtime is dedicated to the farcical behavior of its four teenage leads. From the gratuitous level of blowjobs to the selfie-taking of Maaor Ziv’s stock ‘slut’ character, the crude sexual comedy dominates much of the movie. And honestly, I much preferred the moments when it did.
Mike Taylor as the dumb jock character brought a lot of entertainment value, his strange line delivery and violent enthusiasm making the role far more than it may have been otherwise. Much of the written dialogue in the film is also abysmal in the best possible way – my personal favorite moment was Taylor’s character commenting on how much he loves ‘fresh water’.
The Slasher Genre
What truly holds this film back, though, is how unbearably dated it feels. Yes, the characters have phones and make references to life in the 2010s, but this is a slasher as archetypal as any Friday the 13th or Halloween film. Those franchises have the benefit of being some of the first of their kind; Scarecrows certainly does not. We live in a post-Scream world, and anyone attempting to make a straightforward slasher film nowadays is frankly fighting an uphill battle against audience expectation. Unfortunately for Stone, Scarecrows can’t quite make the climb.
Conclusion: Scarecrows
It seems as though the creators of Scarecrows essentially went ‘Hey! Scarecrows…are scary!’, and refused to develop their ideas past shoehorning this into a cliched teen slasher structure better suited to the 1980s. I had a good laugh at the points when the film wasn’t attempting to be scary, but when the moments of terror promised by the trailer came along, I was frankly just bored.
What do you think? Where does Scarecrows rank amongst other teen slashers for you? Let me know in the comments!
Scarecrows was released in the US on December 11, 2018.
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