ANCHORMAN 2: THE LEGEND CONTINUES – A Review in Rhyme

Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues, a misnomer because the comedy was sloppy.

It was nine long minutes before my first laugh. The movie was almost a scene for scene copy.

When the writers were working the drinks flowed strong, they watched the comedies they loved.

And then they stole a few jokes, copied the first movie’s story line, took originality to a cliff and shoved.

I gave it a fair shot, it was the least I could do. I watched it from beginning to end.

I’d advise you to watch the first movie instead, it’s the least I could do, my friend.

We see Ron fall down, then climb his way to the top. The whole gang is back for part two.

You’d think that they try to go over the top, but throughout the laughs came far and few.

Ron’s yelling his lines because the prompt is in all caps, and on the air he’s not afraid to swear or to curse.

But the character feels empty, a shadow of his former self. And Champ Kind played out even worse.

When he first meets his boss, it was like Austin Powers 2, that scene with Fred Savage’s mole.

She’s a black woman, so Ron states it ten times, one of many punchlines copied in whole.

It wasn’t all awful, a few jokes made me chuckle. The family dinner scene was a twist on old fare.

Though if we look at the first movie’s legendary quotes, the sequel just doesn’t compare.

Brick’s new love interest, basically Brick in a dress, was played up to some laughs for a win.

Brick: “Your hair looks like wet popcorn.”, Chani: “I like the parts of your face that are covered with skin.”

Brian Fantana had my favorite lines, they were dry, and witty and quick.

“See any you like? The Responsible Pirate? Sleeve it to Beaver?”, Brian said, offering a condom to Brick.

Back to the story, Ron loses his sight, there’s a tangent to Doby the Shark.

Then Ron climbs back on the horse, lives happily ever after, and almost gets eaten by Doby the Shark.

(Note – If they can be lazy with jokes, I can be lazy with rhymes.)

One last redeeming fact, the fight towards the end, even if it’s reminiscent of the last.

The cameos come quick, some jokes really fly, and there’s even a blast from the past.

I’m not saying it’s the worst movie ever, just that it doesn’t come close to what it was back then.

So if you’re looking for a score of my opinion, the best I can do is 5 out of 10.