Queerly Ever After #64: LONG-TERM RELATIONSHIP (2006)

Queerly Ever After is a bi-monthly column where I take a look at LGBT+ films that gave their characters a romantic happily-ever-after. There will be spoilers. Also, don’t forget to buy your Queerly Ever After merch right here.

After growing tired of one-night stands, Glenn (Matthew Montgomery) decides to answer a personal ad placed by a gay man looking for a long-term relationship. The ad-man turns out to be Adam (Windham Beacham). If the two leads seem familiar to you it’s because they were also the leads of Back Soon by the same filmmaker, Rob Williams. The two hit it off on the first date and decide to see each other again the next day.

As things progress, Adam announces he needs to admit something to Glenn before things get too serious. It turns out, Adam is a republican, a fiscal not social republican blah blah blah, but still a republican. Glenn on the other hand works in campaign financing for democratic candidates and liberal causes.

Right or Left

Now, this movie was made in 2006 and I am obviously watching it through a 2021 lens, but we can’t look at what is going on right now as if it’s happening in a bubble. The far-right extremism currently plaguing our nation did not spring out of nowhere, its way was paved by previous republican administrations dating back decades. The administration that was in power when this movie came out, and that Adam purports to like, was responsible for a litany of atrocities. And, let’s face it, fiscal conservatism is rooted in systems of oppression, which was as true in 2006 as it is now. Even if you don’t want to believe that, fiscal conservatism means actively turning a blind eye to human rights violations to pad your own pockets, and that makes you complicit.

Adam tells Glenn this because he realizes that it may be a deal-breaker for Glenn, and while Glenn is taken aback, he just goes with it. I think it’s clear that it would be a deal-breaker for me, this isn’t a case of “is a hot dog a sandwich?” But do you support a party that actively works to harm certain groups of people? Aside from a couple of little squabbles, and a scene where even Adam’s parents admit they don’t understand his politics, the movie never really addresses the matter head-on, even though it’s framed as a big relationship hurdle. Williams’ lack of actually tackling this subject makes the addition of Adam’s political views seem thrown in there just for shock value.

Up and Down

Politics are not the only place where Glenn and Adam cannot seem to mesh, but in the bedroom as well. The first time they attempt to have sex, it’s a total disaster, and both end up worried that maybe they are not compatible. For some reason, they decide to keep dating and trying to figure out to make sex work. The thing is, neither of these guys is a virgin, they’re adult men in their thirties with sexual histories who know what they do and don’t like, if they can’t make it work, maybe they’re just not meant to be.

Eventually, after a brief break-up and Adam’s father’s death, Glenn concludes that there is a way to fix their sexual problems: by getting married. Wait, what? See, Glenn figures that Adam is an old-fashioned romantic who wants to be swept off his feet at the end of the day, so the sex will never really work until they make it official. After they do get married, the end of the movie implies that Glenn’s theory was correct, but I am so confused. As I pointed out in the last paragraph, Adam has had sex before, he’s had good sex, how would getting married fix the bad sex he and Glenn are having? And if he is as old-fashioned a guy as Glenn assumes, then wouldn’t he have not had sex all those other times if marriage is what will make it good for him? Getting married does not fix relationship problems.

In Conclusion: Long-Term Relationship

At the end of the day, I don’t think Glenn and Adam should have ended up together. I think their sexual problems actually stemmed from them being too much of a clash of personalities. I think the political divide played a huge part in making it impossible for Glenn to enjoy sex with Adam. If they really wanted to make this relationship work, sex and all, then actually sitting down, talking through all the issues, maybe working with a couple’s counselor would help, but marriage is just a band-aid.

Long-Term Relationship came out January 2, 2006 in the USA and October 29, 2006 in the UK. For all other release dates, see here.

Watch Long-Term Relationship