PLAYMOBIL THE MOVIE: The Dollar Store Lego Movie

How I wish I would not have to lob something so innocent as Playmobil on the slab of shameless aping off the LEGO Movie hysteria. Why would I want to slam this movie? Playmobil has been as much of a toy institution for the younger crowd. I loved playing with these toys as a very young kid. Perhaps the film could replicate that lost sense of play the brand brought out so well. Sadly, this picture merely serves as a reminder of how studios forcing a film around a product didn’t always make for the greatest of entertainment.

A Confusing and Dark Start

This is a movie that stumbles astoundingly hard trying to hit all the notes of an adventure picture. Our protagonists are the siblings Marla (Anya Taylor-Joy) and Charlie (Gabriel Bateman). They need to start off as playful kids but then lose that sense of wonder and play in order to find their way back into nostalgic happiness. Oh, and their parents have to be out of the picture in order for them to succeed on their own.

While there are a number of ways to accomplish this, the film favors the blunter approach of the 6-year-old Charlie learning that his parents have died. Not a great start considering Marla grows up to be a frustrated young adult trying to raise her brother as Charlie is now a lonely kid. Charlie also thinks his sister’s imagination died the same day like their parents. Having fun yet?

If the choice in parent death seems baffling, the adventure into Playmobil land is equally as confusing. Charlie decides to sneak out of the house one night to visit a museum’s Playmobil exhibit. When Marla catches up with him, they are both transformed into Playmobil figures and transported to the Playmobil universe by a magical lighthouse. And I can’t think of a way to better explain this development than just being a random excuse to get the animated adventure moving.

The Land of Misfit Toy Movie Concepts

The longer the movie goes – and it slogs for an agonizing 99 minutes – the more the pieces come apart. The little things started to bubble and anger my patience for such sloppy writing. Why is it that Marla appears in the Playmobil world as a toy-version of herself while Charlie is a bearded Viking? How does the lighthouse work with transportation from another dimension? Why do the Playmobil figures suddenly have an easier range of motion whereas the LEGO Movie characters were hilariously rigid throughout? These and many other questions will not be answered as the picture settles into its lukewarm farce.

While the overall message of the picture seems somewhat present for focusing on recapturing the imagination, the story is a huge snooze. There are Playmobil characters being kidnapped from various worlds and both Charlie and Marla need to work with the special agent Rex Dasher (Daniel Radcliffe), clearly meant to be a suave James Bond type. I couldn’t help but think of how the intent behind the very name of James Bond was to find a title more common than preposterously pulpy. There’s no chance of Rex going onto become a franchise staple if not on this naming basis than for his forgettable spy-guy behavior.

A Lacking LEGO Knock-Off

This is an animated picture that wants to be imaginative and whimsical but only puts forth the bare minimum. The comedy never quite takes off, even with the likes of Kenan Thompson, Jim Gaffigan, and Meghan Trainor providing comedic backup. They’re locked so tightly into their roles of a pirate, food truck driver, and fairy that they never garner a decent laugh. They all fulfill their purpose of providing only passive commentary in an action-packed adventure of theatrics most mundane, even for an animated farce.

My initial perceptions of the picture was that of a scaled-down LEGO Movie for the younger crowd. How wonderful that would be. But does this sound like a movie for that demographic with scenes at a nightclub, a battle colosseum, an explosive car chase, and police informing children about the death of their parents? My thoughts raced back to my childhood of the misguided toy-centric entertainment of the 1980s that needlessly dabbled in the dark amid the blatant commercialization. What a weird throwback this picture is with a bitter aftertaste of aged marketing tactics.

Conclusion: Playmobil The Movie

Akin to a cheap toy knockoff of toxic materials, Playmobil wields whimsy that is generic, tiresome, and probably isn’t safe for young children. While it’s such a cliche to make the obligatory criticism of kids having a better imagination with these toys than this movie, I have to back this claim once more. When kids conspire random and weird stories with their toys, it’s cute and encouraging to watch them use their imagination. When adults making the same story in a major film forget the moral core in their wild romp, it’s maddening for the lacking focus.

The moral of this film has been stated by the filmmakers as “The only rules that matter are the ones you set.” This film could’ve benefited from a few more rules before getting lost in its cloudly kaleidoscope of toys and tragedy.

Did you see Playmobil: The Movie? What did you think? Let us know in the comments below.