HOTEL ARTEMIS: Overstuffed, Scattershot Crime Story Wastes All-Star Cast

It’s nearly impossible to talk about Hotel Artemis, the directorial debut of veteran screenwriter Drew Pearce (Iron Man 3, Mission: Impossible- Rogue Nation), without mentioning the eerie similarities between this stylish crime movie and the John Wick franchise.

Okay, so it’s a hospital for criminals instead of the posh, carefully manicured hotel of the Wick franchise. But since they both have secret codes, rules, and shady clientele, is it really all that different? As a fan of that series, I was more than a little stunned when I saw the trailer for Hotel Artemis, which seemed like a shockingly brazen rip-off.

Well, there’s good news and bad news. The good news is that the basic premise is where the commonalities end between this film and the hyper-violent Wick series, as the two films barely share a strand of narrative DNA beyond the conceptual level. The bad news is that Hotel Artemis runs into its own unique set of problems, which range from rushed storytelling to an overabundance of thinly written characters. Despite the wickedly talented cast and the generous dash of futuristic flair added by Pearce, these disparate elements don’t add up to much.

Trouble in Criminal Paradise

Set in Los Angeles 2028, Hotel Artemis follows a group of scoundrels and lowlifes during a particularly vibrant night in the L.A. underbelly. The city is in the midst of the most dangerous and widespread riots in history, so it should be a busy night for the Nurse (Jodie Foster), a straightforward, hard-drinking, reclusive woman who tends to criminals in her secret hospital.

Along with her assistant Everest (Dave Bautista), the Nurse is tasked with keeping things under control during this wild time. There are rules at this establishment, and those rules must stay in place no matter the cost. Already staying at the Artemis is Nice (Sofia Boutella), a devilishly charming assassin with a job to do, and Acapulco (Charlie Day), a brash and abrasive scumbag who might just find himself in trouble if he’s not careful.

Things get even messier when two bank robbers, under the monikers of Waikiki (Sterling K. Brown) and Honolulu (Brian Tyree Henry), arrive at the Artemis after a job gone wrong, hoping for the Nurse to save them from a whole lot of trouble. Oh, and did I mention that the Wolf King (Jeff Goldblum), the man who runs Los Angeles, is also inbound, hoping to secure a room at the hospital he controls?

Just when you thought things couldn’t get any worse, a young cop (Jenny Slate) with a connection to the Nurse’s past shows up at the doorstep, begging for help from the woman she once knew. As the Nurse battles her own personal demons, chaos will reign at the principled and orderly establishment. But rules are meant to be broken, right?

Messy, Inconsistent Filmmaking

It was a smart move for Pearce to stick with a relatively small scale film, though I’m sure that was partially due to budgetary concerns. Almost all of the action takes place in the confines of the hospital itself, with the outside world only looming as a threat for the Nurse and her patients. This claustrophobic, Reservoir Dogs-inspired sensibility allows Pearce the opportunity to give real character to the sets, and he opts for a stylish, delectably playful look and feel that’s reminiscent of old Hollywood in an impressive way.

There’s a clever little copyright logo for the hotel itself, as well as a sharply funny contrast between the tropical murals and the undesirable elements that populate the hotel. The devil is in the details here, and on a design level, Hotel Artemis is thoroughly charming (if also extraordinarily violent).

But as fun as all this stylized mayhem can be at times, Hotel Artemis suffers from an approach that never gives the audience even a second to breathe. The running time is a mere 94-minutes, which is an absolutely fantastic idea in theory that turns out to be disastrous in practice. The truncated runtime doesn’t allow Pearce to explore every aspect of this wild noir world, so the film is ultimately overstuffed beyond repair.

Every minute is packed with something new and exciting, but it stops being exciting and starts feeling exhausting very, very quickly. It doesn’t help that the filmmaking is jittery and frantic, jumping around to any number of different incidents without developing them in any way.

Too Many Characters, Not Enough Time

To fix this core issue, Pearce absolutely needed to cut three or more characters from this staggeringly large ensemble of talent. It’s clear that everyone is having a good time here, but the film’s never-ending desire to entertain its audience is constantly clashing with its narrative needs, resulting in a final product that quickly loses control.

Pearce would have been better off focusing his entire attention on Jodie Foster, who delivers a layered, perfectly mannered performance as the world-weary Nurse. She’s by far the most fascinating character in the movie, the only individual who feels more like a human being and less like a caricature.

But for every great moment with Foster, there’s another tremendous actor who is totally wasted by the scattershot script. While Sterling K. Brown and Dave Bautista end up on the lucky side of things, I found Charlie Day‘s turn as a profane, motor-mouthed businessman to be nearly unbearable. The film is also guilty of wasting Jeff Goldblum, who shows up for what is essentially a cameo and delivers another unnecessary twist to the narrative puzzle in the process.

Zachary Quinto and Sofia Boutella have some amusing moments, but again, there’s just too much of everything for these star performers to make an impact. Even when the story slows down, it still feels like things are moving a mile-a-minute.

Hotel Artemis: Conclusion

These mixed results are all the more disappointing when you consider the rich potential of Hotel Artemis‘ vibrant, seedy noir world. Despite the John Wick comparison, Pearce really did craft something original and imaginative with this futuristic action saga, a film that is virtually overflowing with ideas.

And this crime story really is a good deal of fun for a while, establishing its prickly characters and violent setup with ease. But when it’s time to kick things into high gear, it’s more than a little stunning to see how quickly it all goes off the rails.

What did you think of Hotel Artemis? Did you enjoy watching this cast in a high-concept neo-noir or were you disappointed by the execution? Let us know in the comments below!

Hotel Artemis was released on June 8, 2018 in the US and will be released in the UK on July 20, 2018. For all international release dates, see here.