Welcome back to the scariest, and at times goriest, column here at Film Inquiry: Horrific Inquiry. Twice a month, I will be tackling all things horror, bringing two films back into the spotlight to terrify and frighten once more. And occasionally looking at those that could have pushed the envelope further. Join us as we dive deep into the heart of horror, but warning, there will be spoilers.
Have you ever watched a movie that was so terrible, it was good? This is strangely the experience with Michael Cooney‘s Christmas horror Jack Frost. This is far from a good film, never mind a good horror. Yet, after watching it, I strangely could not wait to talk about it. Its one-liners committed actors and ridiculous visuals added up to an unexpected experience of comedic absurdity that I am not sure I will revisit, but will certainly never forget. And with Christmas right around the corner, it might just be the perfect dose of Christmas madness.
A Killer Frosty the Snowman
There is an annoyingly unnerving introduction as the camera opens up on an angel tree topper, a nails on the chalkboard whiney child’s voice asking for a story. And while she did not choose a scary story, that is what she gets. As the camera pans down the tree, the ornaments encompassing the film’s opening credits, a man recites the story of Jack Frost, a maniacal serial killer whose murderous reign left authorities dumbfounded and at a loss to stop him. Yet, one sheriff manages to be at the right place at the right time, capturing the killer. As the horrible and humorous story comes to an end, there is a tone to the film that has been set, one that Jack Frost maintains through its entirety. Whether this is to its benefit is in the eyes of the beholder, but the film knows what it wants to be early on and sticks with it to the very end.
As the story ends and the film transitions to the present, viewers are shown a State Execution Transport vehicle making its way through a blizzard. While we are briefly introduced to Jack Frost (this star performance brought to life by Scott MacDonald) in the back of the van, who is currently on his way to his execution, the film stays with the van’s drivers as they fill in the truth of the narrator’s story. As they elaborate, there is almost a hand-holding feel to the film, though necessary for the understanding of Sheriff Sam Tiler (Christopher Allport) down the line. Between segments of their retelling of the crimes of Jack Frost, the camera alternates between shots of the transport van driving in the snow and a genetic research vehicle heading in the opposite direction, predictably on the path to collide with one another. And after it is revealed that Jack Frost has killed one guard in the van and has managed to escape his cuffs, the two vehicles collide – throwing Jack into the snow and injuring the van’s two drivers.
But not everyone dies right away, one of the drivers exiting the van and making his way to the back, discovering that Jack Frost has in fact escaped. And it is here the film gets interesting. Audiences are shown the valve of the genetic research vehicle indicating the acid inside has been compromised, an impending explosion imminent. All the while Jack and the van’s driver confront one another, the evil, almost Hannibal Lector smile of Jack Frost giving viewers the only true look at the killer before his ultimate transformation. That’s right ladies and gentlemen, the acid explodes all over Jack Frost, his body melting and disappearing into the snow, his cellular makeup bonding with that of the frosty white purity of Christmas. And while it is not immediately apparent what has happened to Frost, promotions and synopsis of the film have already given away that Frost has turned into a killer Frosty the Snowman.
Frost Bite
If you think this is as ridiculous as the film gets, buckle in because it’s going to be one wild sleigh ride. As a coverup ensues over the escape of Jack Frost, audiences are brought to the small town of Snowmonton as they prepare for Christmas and their annual snowman contest. Strangely, these snowmen do not come into play later on in the film, rather being the initial backdrop to the interrupted innocence of the holiday by Frost’s transformation and return. Jack Frost takes its time introducing its characters, festively delivering its upcoming body count. And while the appearance of Frost as the Snowman is not immediate, his mark is left early with his first kill of the Old Man Harper.
Immediately it is assumed that the death of Old Man Harper is just the first of many to come. There is an uneasiness that still resides from the torment and terror Jack Frost once had on the community and its authorities. And it’s not long until they are proven right, the death of Billy Metzner (Nathanyael Grey) welcoming not only the first look at Frost as the snowman (yes, that just might be plush) but the brutal decapitation that sets the town on edge. And while these first murders give a glimpse of Frost, the subsequent murders of Billy’s mother and father not only elevate the absurd violence – ie an ax handle down the throat and death by Christmas bulbs – but begin to truly deliver the film’s memorable one liners. “Gosh, I only axed for a smoke”.
While the action is beyond absurd and the narrative insanely in defiance of Christmas and winter cheer, it is the one-liners that elevate Jack Frost to a whole new level. And the film is not afraid to lean into them. They are not necessarily quotable, but definitely memorable. When I found myself talking about the film, it was the scenes and moments surrounding the delivery of these one-liners that I wanted to share most – that I remembered most.
Conclusion:
At times a bad horror and at others a bad TV movie, Jack Frost is terrible from start to finish – so much so it’s… good. There is a dedication from its actors, no matter how terrible the performances, that matches the energy of its narrative and one-liner-infused dialogue. Its absurdity may run its course, but proves not every aspect of Jack Frost needs to be put on ice.
Watch Jack Frost
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