HORRIBLE HISTORIES: THE MOVIE – ROTTEN ROMANS: Blackadder-lite Kids Comedy Just About Justifies Its Big Screen Running Time

After over 20 books from one of Britain’s bestselling authors, Terry Deary, an on-off TV series and a series of live shows, all roads lead to Rome as the Horrible Histories franchise has decided to make the leap from the small screen to the big as Horrible Histories: The Movie – Rotten Romans has hit UK screens for the pleasure of giggling children and their tired parents. Just about justifying its 92 minute running time, there are decent gags and solid history wrapped up in a lightweight but semi-satisfying story.

Silly But Not Stupid

As Nero (Craig Roberts) and his mother Agrippina (Kim Cattrall) shuffle Claudius (Derek Jacobi reprising his role from the 1976 BBC series in a cameo) off his mortal coil, the fiddling Nero sends young Roman Atti (Sebastian Croft) to Britain, the forgotten ‘stain’ of the Roman Empire, as punishment, where Atti crosses paths with wannabe warrior Orla (Emilia Jones), as Boudica’s (Kate Nash) uprising gathers.

Continuing the tone of the books and TV series, Rotten Romans’ humour is Ben Elton Blackadder-lite: silly but not stupid. There are gross out moments and toilet humour, sure, but not as many as I had feared after the opening couple of bottom-based gags. And while there’s a surprising lack of ‘horribleness’, there are puns galore – ‘High V!’ rather than high five – and plenty of British self-deprecation, from not having a clue where Wales is to sending criminals to Britain as a ‘fate worse than death’. And while some gags may seem easy, none are cheap: they all come from a historical, educating context.

Some gags even continue to be funny far longer than they have any right to be, such as comedian Lee Mack’s gruff general Decimus who, leading his battalion in Britain, chokes up while waxing lyrical about his far away homeland. Director Dominic Brigstocke, veteran of the TV series and various British TV shows, assembles a decent cast, from Sherlock’s Inspector Lestrade (Rupert Graves) as narcissistic Roman general Paulinus to Sanjeev Bashkar, most recently seen in Danny Boyle’s Yesterday, as a hapless Roman unintentionally putting his wife through the gross-out wringer.

Roman Roleplaying

Everyone seems to be having fun. From Mack to Graves to Nick Frost (Shaun of the Dead, Hot Fuzz), vying for the crown of most lovable British Dad after his turn in Stephen Merchant’s Fighting With My Family, as the Celt chief and father to the teenage Roman-era feminist Orla.

The meatiest roles go to Jones and Croft as Orla and Atti, a Celt and a Roman, juxtaposed as the ‘sophisticated’ and the ‘savage’ who will learn a thing or two about ‘teamwork making the dreamwork’ and the virtues of sharing. Their relationship does what it ought to do, keeping you invested enough while it trots through the predictable midpoint-crisis-climax structure. Jones in particular looks like one to keep an eye on, soon to be seen as one of the leads in Netflix’s comic book adaptation Locke & Key.

But Roberts, best known for his role in 2010’s Submarine, is the most natural comic performer, dialing up his deadpan a notch or two for the song and dance numbers, playing Nero as naïve and callous to comic effect, particularly successful when insisting his generals make the clippety-cloppety noise of the horses as they plan their battle strategy.

Fitting for a Feature Length Film?

But did this story warrant a feature length running time? The box office numbers will provide the answers for the studio, but for the viewer, the answer seems to be ‘maybe not’. As Boudica’s followers grow, from the wee thousands to 70,000, the followers on screen show no more than 100 extras. On the small screen, this would’ve have been deliberately pointed out as a gag. But here, it’s simultaneously passed over, hoping the viewer might not notice, and drawn attention to via the ‘Boudicca followers’ counter that ticks up whenever Nash’s character’s on screen. It comes across as embarrassing when it could’ve been amusing.

There are Worse History Teachers Than This

Moreover, even with the several intersecting storylines, from Nero to Atti, to Paulinus and Decimus, we reach the ending title card with just enough puff left in the lungs. But the movie succeeds, surely, by its own criteria: to teach kids about history in a funny and engaging way. From Atti’s Mum treating his reading of scrolls as though he were scrolling through a phone to news-style reporting on the militaristic strategy of bottle-necking as a traffic report, there’s enough here for the over-12s to chuckle at while the kids await the next lewd gag.

What did you make of Rotten Romans? Do you think it justified its feature length running time? Let us know in the comments below!

Horrible Histories: The Movie – Rotten Romans was released in the UK on July 26, 2019. For all international release dates, see here.