HALLOWEEN KILLS: The Franchise Hits A New Low

2018’s Halloween should have been a sure thing. While straight up ignoring every subsequent sequel/spin-off/remake that followed the 1978 original, co-writers David Gordon Green and Danny McBride offered themselves an easy lay-up to return to the world of Haddonfield, Illinois, even returning Jamie Lee Curtis to the fold as an emotionally damaged Laurie Strode for one last face-off with Michael Myers. For a series that has been worked and re-worked to death over the course of four decades, a sense of finality was all the more welcome.

But alas, as it turns out the real curse of Haddonfield is not the evil that is Michael Myers, but gross financial gain. Halloween 2018 (it feels inappropriate to not distinguish the title from John Carpenter’s classic) was a box office smash, easily earning its budget back several times over and becoming one of the highest grossing slasher films of all time. For Green and McBride (who are joined by co-writer Scott Teems in this latest entry), this now meant that Halloween 2018 was to be the first part of a new trilogy, which brings us to Halloween Kills, the intended second installment.

Opinions vary on where the nadir in the Halloween franchise lies. Some will point their fingers squarely at Halloween: Resurrection, which featured Busta Rhymes unleashing a can of whoop-ass on The Shape in the climactic showdown. Others will decry the Rob Zombie films and their singular vision of unrepentant nihilism (they’re wrong). Halloween Kills is not just the worst film to befall the franchise, but it’s also the most deeply moronic, and that’s after taking the Cult of Thorn into consideration. With Green returning to directing duties, Kills is an aggravating, unnecessary, and horribly misguided feature, a far cry away from what made the original film so damn great. Any desires for a third film have been summarily flushed down the toilet with this feature.

Where we last left off…

Following the traditional mold of previous Halloween sequels, Halloween Kills picks up moments where the previous film left off. It’s Halloween night, and Deputy Frank Hawkins (Will Patton), lies severely wounded in the street before being rescued by teen Cameron (Dylan Arnold). Across town, Laurie is tending to her own wounds, accompanied by daughter Karen (Judy Greer) and granddaughter Allyson (Andi Matichak) as they race to the hospital. Meanwhile, a team of first responders unwittingly release Michael Myers from his fiery tomb, allowing the killer to continue his bloody reign of terror once again.

Halloween 2018 took great care to establish the fractured familial unit of Laurie, Karen, and Allyson, repeatedly underlining how the events from 1978 have caused great friction in their lives. The previous film ended on a moment of triumph for the three generations of Strode women, allowing them to overcome their fears and forge ahead, stronger than ever before.

Halloween Kills undoes this almost immediately. Frustratingly, the three women are sidelined for the bulk of the film, with Curtis’ role reduced to what’s essentially a glorified cameo in her own franchise. Like in 1981’s Halloween II, Laurie is relegated to being stuck in a hospital, awaiting the fury of Michael. The sequel is much more concerned with the other denizens of Haddonfield, with time devoted to Hawkins and his own haunted past, after an encounter with Michael Myers resulted in his accidental killing of a fellow police officer (we’re frequently treated to flashbacks of this incident).

Also receiving special attention is the Myers house itself, now inhabited by gay couple Big John (Scott MacArthur) and Little John (Michael McDonald). Despite being established as characters living out their regular lives in Michael’s former abode, the John’s are cheap, obnoxiously written targets, likely stemming from McBride’s contributions to the screenplay (the lame stabs at comic relief were a problem that plagued the previous film – in fact, all attempts at humor remain dead on arrival here).

Evil Dies Tonight

Despite all of these new elements, the keys to the narrative are actually handed over to Tommy (Anthony Michael Hall), the boy who Laurie was babysitting the night Michael came home. While out celebrating with fellow survivors who had close encounters with Michael, including Lonnie (Robert Longstreet), Lindsey (Kyle Richards), and Nurse Marion Chambers (Nancy Stephens), Tommy gets wind of Michael’s rampage and sets out to finish him off, rallying any and all willing townspeople into an unruly mob of vigilantes.

The screenplay by Green, McBride, and Teems awkwardly contorts itself to fill in all loose ends left hanging from the 1978 film. Events from the aftermath of that night are recreated (we even get a little tease of Loomis) and snippets of Carpenter’s film are spliced in, but the motivations seem fundamentally misjudged, especially when Green’s lack of formal polish is stacked up against Carpenter’s sleek masterpiece. The connective tissue is appreciated, but the results are ghastly and largely inexplicable (why, for instance, would a retired nurse pal around with a group of kids twenty years her junior?). Every forced connection to Carpenter feels like a hideous step backward.

Dialogue is a huge problem and falls into one of two camps: bad exposition, or verbalizing themes. Tommy’s mob is a major detriment to the story, especially when it comes to what Green and McBride seem to be conveying to the audience, that mindless assimilation of a group for a violent purpose is ultimately worthless. When one character acknowledges that the mob’s actions “are turning us into monsters”, it’s enough to give up on the movie entirely.

Gorehounds will likely leave satisfied, though. For what is arguably the most gruesome Halloween yet, the weight of Michael’s wrath is felt in the escalating body count. Stabbings are frequent, but necks get snapped, skulls are obliterated by blunt objects, and one poor bastard even gets his eyeballs gouged out. Green is out to satiate the bloodlust, but considering the poor quality surrounding the graphic moments of bloodshed, his intentions ring utterly hollow.

Conclusion: Halloween Kills

This being the middle part of a planned trilogy, Halloween Kills truly suffers because it has no cohesive beginning and no proper ending. After lumbering around lugubriously for a period of 100 minutes, the film just stops dead in its tracks, leaving multiple plot threads in the balance as it pauses for the next installment. Halloween Ends is set to arrive in October 2022 with all primary players returning for one last go-round, but Green and Co. have effectively killed off any interest in seeing this story play out.

What do you think? Does Halloween Kills drum up enough excitement for a third film? Let us know in the comments below.

Halloween Kills was released in theaters and streaming on the Peac*ck app on October 15, 2021.

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