Are All Franchises Created Equal? The Six Levels Of Franchise Hell

It’s that time again to make the journey back to hell, movie hell. Previous Film Inquiry installments took readers through the levels of remake, sequel and rip-off hell. Now with an additional fourth member in this family, we have now entered a franchise. As with the others, this column will examine the distinct levels of the movie franchise.

Franchises come in genres that range from science fiction to comedy, and have been around for almost the entire history of cinema. Some franchises make sense for enduring for so long (most horror franchises), it is show BUSINESS after all. Others make us scratch our heads in confusion (how are there so many Land Before Time sequels?).

The following levels will start at the bottom of the barrel and move its way to the top for the goods. Buckle up, readers, and let’s begin our descent to the six levels of franchise hell.

Lost Its Way: The Rambo Series

The first entry of the series, First Blood, analyzed the plight of a veteran attempting to assimilate back into American culture. Discriminated by a small town sheriff, the abuse he faces triggers Vietnam flashbacks. The flashbacks unlock his trauma acquired from the war, he attacks the cops, and goes on the run.

The first and second entry focus on the psyche of the protagonist. How he and others like him dealt with the horrors of war and all the bad things that happened. Once Rambo III is released, the series takes a nosedive.

Rambo goes from harassed veteran with PTSD to a cartoonish action hero. The third entry has him with an aim so perfect that Hawkeye would be jealous. The story of a broken man takes a backseat and changes him to a one-man army that can handle international conflicts with one hand tied behind his back. When the fourth entry rolls around it doesn’t even bother with a story, but focuses mainly on a series of incoherent action montages.

At the time of this writing, a fifth entry is said to be in the works. Star Sylvester Stallone is now in his seventies, and should just put the franchise to rest. If he goes beyond the fifth entry, he’ll be eligible for the next level.

Too Old For This Shit: The American Pie Series

The title, as most of you realize, comes from Danny Glover’s character in the Lethal Weapon series. He utters this line to express that his character should not have to deal with a particular situation due to age. With four films, excluding the direct-to-video ones, this dialogue applies to the American Pie movie series.

Like the Rambo series, the first two are the enjoyable ones. The first American Pie is funny because of the inexperienced teenage boys attempting to “get to home base” before prom, but failing each time. The second one puts them in college, and still works with the whole spring break/ party hookup angle. Their ages make it humorous because of the relatability. No such luck with the third and fourth entry.

These latter ones suffer from what made Dumb and Dumber To a cringe inducing watch: old characters doing actions of younger characters. Harry and Lloyd were hilarious as young clueless dorks, but now look pathetic as 50+ year old guys doing the same material. The American Pie characters are now in their thirties, have careers, have long-term partners, but still do the same high school gags. The Stifler character is now irritating as a mid-thirties man who still acts like a sixteen year old. If there is a fifth one, let’s hope for a nudge in quality.

Roller Coaster Of Quality: The Friday The 13th Series

The previous two levels had only four films in their respected series, but with Friday the 13th there are ten movies (the remake does not exist) to look at. With many titles to choose from, one would think that each new installment would be a clunker. However, with each additional installment, the quality of the movie differs greatly from entry to entry. Proving to be a theme park thrill ride.

Friday the 13th began with just a meh first feature that went to provide sequels that were both superior and inferior to the original. The series went through many ups and downs like a roller coaster. The final installment, Jason X, ends the series on a meh level on par with the first feature, coming full circle.

The second and third installment went slightly up by making Jason Voorhees the main killer, and for creating amusing protagonists along the way. It hit a home run with number four (thanks to Crispin Glover and Corey Feldman), dips a bit with the fifth and hits another homer with the sixth installment. The movie struck out with the horrendous seventh, eighth and ninth entries. The latter two are unwatchable and cheats audience expectations.

Though each entry is a gamble with quality, they each offer something a little different. From changes in location, to the type of characters who interact with Jason. The next level gets it a little better with making each one stand out from the last.

A New Take On Each Installment: The Alien Series

The Alien franchise turns 40 this year, and to celebrate, we look at what has kept viewers on their toes through the decades. What helps the first four at least were new directors at each helm. Not only changing the look of each Alien movie, but even going as far as changing genre. Each entry is a sci-fi hybrid that works in its own way.

The first one is a horror film that’s designed as a haunted house/monster movie on a spaceship, while the second is a big shoot-em-up action movie. The third one, Alien 3, is a prison drama while Alien: Resurrection is Jean-Pierre Jeunet weirdness. After four, the Alien series had a big hiccup and is unfortunately not bouncing back like the Friday the 13th series.

The series seems trapped in the crossover (AVP: Alien vs. Predator) and prequel (Prometheus) purgatory of movie hell. The former seems to be doing the Paul W.S. Anderson video game look while Ridley Scott is ruining the mystery of the first Alien by establishing an origin story. Fortunately, the movies in the next level bounce back in a big way.

Bounced Back: The Rocky Series

This franchise began in 1976, launched the career of Sylvester Stallone and won the Best Picture Oscar. The film is a classic underdog story that still makes audiences cheer after 40 plus years. Along the way, it forgot where it came from.

I’ll be honest, Rocky V is the only Rocky movie I dislike. The villain is bland and the story is disengaging. The others have little moments that make up for the series deviating from the original premise of an up-and-coming fighter. Rocky IV is my personal favorite and a masterpiece with its laughable dialogue (“I must break you”), non-stop cheesy montages, and Paulie’s questionable relationship with his robot (watch to find out). Rocky Balboa had a bump up in quality, but 2015’s Creed brought the series back to its roots.

Creed bounced the franchise back to why audiences fell in love with the original so many years ago. It gave us a character, Adonis Creed, down on his luck but feels he is destined for greater things. Rocky is now the mentor who trains this new up-and-comer to fight the current champion of the world.

The success of Creed led to the 2018 sequel Creed II. The latter was also a hit, and the series doesn’t seem to be slowing down anytime soon. It is a reliable franchise, and one that went through many changes over the years. Much like the franchise in our final level.

Long Lasting Entertainment: The 007 Series

The 007 series, based on the series of books by Ian Fleming, has entertained audiences since the debut of Dr. No in 1962. A 57-year-old franchise that still churns out titles every few years, with a new one coming out next year. How has a franchise lasted for so long? It adapts to the world around it.

Not only changing with the world, but changing Bonds! Several actors have stepped in to fill the shoes of this iconic character and brought with them their own interpretation of the character. Sean Connery played him one way, Roger Moore another and Daniel Craig will do his final performance as the character with next year’s release. Here’s to hoping that Idris Elba takes on the role (my choice!).

Bond began as a martini-sipping, 60s -era Rat Pack -dressing gent battling the Soviets, to a guy using sci-fi gadgets, to fighting a hat thrower, to stopping computer viruses to adventures far too numerous to list in this column. His toys and enemies may change with the times, but his demeanor does not. The films even have pop stars sing the opening song based on the title of each movie. Everyone from Paul McCartney to A-ha to Adele has sung a Bond theme.

Final Thoughts

This concludes another installment of a trip to movie hell. Pretty sure there will be one on reboots or any other item that needs attention. Only time will tell.

The franchise is not going away anytime soon, especially in an age of cinematic universes. Given the box office juggernaut that is Avengers: Endgame and barrage of other titles, it will be going for some time. With that in mind, the multiplexes will be filled with an abundance of entertainment for years to come. If that doesn’t strike your fancy, go to a streaming service to find a franchise to get into.

Do you have a favorite franchise? Is there one you wished I included? Please comment below.