CLERKS III: A Messy Meta Midlife Crisis

In 1994, store clerks Dante (Brian O’Halloran) and Randal (Jeff Anderson) hung out in the Quick-Stop Convenient store. Randal reenacts a scene from Jaws using a chip and a jar of salsa while Dante laments how much his dating life sucks. 28 years later, we have the same scene with the same actors. They’re not just reenacting the past but remain trapped in a rut, where all you can do is bicker with stoners and make pop culture references.

How long can a Gen-Xer keep up the debates of Star Wars characters and sex positions? Sooner or later, even the most low-effort slackers have a moment of realization. Clerks III tries to tap into the mid-life crisis of its characters and find a fitting conclusion for them. While there is a certain sentimentality at play, the wrinkles are certainly visible for its duo that debates movies and complains about their jobs.

Cardiac Clerks

Dante and Randal have grown so old they’re no longer worried about relationships and rude customers. The top concern of the day is now health. Randal finds himself suffering a heart attack and has to be rushed to the hospital. After an operation from Amy Sedaris and geeky references, Randal comes to realize that he’s slacked off for too long.

Having watched a lot of movies, Randal decides to make a movie of his own. Don’t think the Tarantino connection would go unreferenced. Having not experienced much of life outside retail, Randal decides to make a movie about the one thing he knows best: His own life.

The Meta Movie

A good chunk of the film is mostly spent as commentary on the production of Clerks. All the familiar actors reenact the classic moments. A few unexpected actors also make a return as well. All the familiar scenes are reprised as well, making this picture feel more like a reunion special than a trilogy closer.

This is a bit that wears out its welcome fast. The most tiresome aspect is the consistent behind-the-scenes tidbits of the first film that are slung for many in-jokes. Jay (Jason Mewes) and Silent Bob (Kevin Smith) assume the role of the technical crew in addition to playing themselves. Smith, of course, will be vocal when his skills are warranted, as when he comments on the terrible colors of the Quick-Stop and why the film needs to be shot in black and white.

The Darker Side

The best thing that can be said of Clerks III is that it’s far and away the most emotional amid all its sentimentality. This is best seen in how Dante matures, struggling to handle the sudden loss of Becky (Rosario Dawson), who is thankfully not just written out of the movie as her spirit remains firmly present in Dante’s journey of moving onward. Despite her becoming more of the guiding heart of the film, it’s still bizarre having a moment of her talking about having sex with ghosts.

Brian O’Halloran once again steals the show and this time does more than bluster. There’s a real existential dread and deep trauma that he struggles with. His tearful performance makes for a much different film, bringing a new angle to Clerks that is refreshing despite feeling a tad unexpected.

Same Old Clerks

The film made me think back to the series finale of the Clerks animated series. Dante breaks the fourth wall by assuring the audience that the show will go back to doing everything Clerks did before instead of the more adventurous nature of the show. The joke, of course, is that the premise is still laced with cartoon absurdity.

Clerks III pulls the same premise but more in earnest nostalgia than mocking repetition. This means we get a lot of scenes where characters repeat familiar gags. Dante leans into the callbacks of his former girlfriend having given 37 blowjobs. Jay and Silent Bob engage in a late-night dance session outside the store. Randal will rant about the dynamics of Star Wars.

I understand that most of these greatest hits of Clerks are present in the film’s meta-movie and are meant to highlight a longing for the past. From another point of view, however, the film spends so much time recreating what was lost, seeking more fun from the portrayals than the people behind the camera. There are only a few moments of sweetness where we can see Dante and Randal finding peace in their project, only tacitly hinting at the morose nature of putting their history on replay.

The best scene that feels more playful than repetitive is when Dante and Randal debate about how they stack up as Star Wars characters within their own narrative. Little geeky debates like Randal trying to cynically equate Dante to being Dak (the co-pilot of Luke who dies during Empire) are where the real fun lies. Sadly, not as many of these scenes are present, favoring simpler bits like Jay and Silent Bob smoking an absurdly long blunt.

The Next Generation

Perhaps the most radical change in character is Elias (Trevor Fehrman). He’s gone from being the awkward Christian kid from Clerks II to an overblown Satanist. This leads to a clever running joke of him donning a different goth-style outfit for every scene. It’s kinda clever and leads to some decent passing comments of Randal recognizing the Blade Runner influence in the makeup.

What’s less clever is how Elias starts to dabble in his own cryptocurrency. This aspect becomes more than just another aspect for Randal to mock but a saving grace for bringing a rather somber climax to a happy conclusion. There’s something rather gross about cryptocurrencies saving the day, especially when the alternative is Elias starting a kite business seems far more fun.

You’d Have To Be Here Today

There are so many in-jokes thrown into Clerks III without much cleverness. Hallmarks like shoving Ben Affleck somewhere to make a fool of himself are tossed in more as obligatory bits than clever usage. Fictional marketing characters Mooby and Happy Scrappy Hero Pup litter the sets.

So many of the gags during Randal’s film rely on having more than a wee bit of foreknowledge about Smith’s movies. Certain characters and phrases enter the scene, holding for a moment where you either smirk for getting the reference or scratch your head about who we’re looking at. So if you don’t quite remember the Chewlie’s gum salesman or the random bearded guy offering passive commentary, you may need to brush up on the original Clerks to understand all the gags here, let alone find them funny.

Conclusion: Clerks III

Clerks III doesn’t have the best laughs of the trilogy but certainly the most heart amid its sentimental nostalgia. It’s almost a decent trade-off for how the film favors a heavier drama aspect over its aged bickerings about Star Wars characters and pornography. Considering how much the film lavishes in recapturing the past, however, it’s a midlife crisis with a mixture of tones that sometimes work but rarely gel.

This is a film that is certainly not going to convert anybody who wasn’t a big fan of Smith’s characters or wasn’t all that enthralled by the second film’s donkey show. If you do have an affinity for these characters, however, it’s easy enough to feel something when recognizing how old these characters are becoming and the desperation they feel. Clerks have always been a series about longing and pop culture jokes and this entry is where the longing is more profound than Randal’s citation of The Mandalorian.

Have you seen Clerks III? What did you think? Let us know in the comments below!

Clerks III will be released on September 13, 2022!

Watch Clerks III