DRACULA UNTOLD Doesn’t Make Good On Its Promise

Dracula Untold tries to be a lot of different things – a PG-13 horror movie, a historical epic, a Gothic romance, a superhero origin story – and it does it all while at the same time trying to kick start an Avengers-style shared movie universe. Whether you call that ambitious or just the obvious product of too many cooks in the kitchen, it doesn’t succeed on every front. But remarkably enough, as a pure popcorn movie, it doesn’t completely fall apart, either.

GONE GIRL: Post-Modern Hitchc*ck

If the media blitz preceding its release is anything to go by, Gone Girl is being pitched as brooding, twisty, and somewhat orthodox whodunnit. If you buy a ticket expecting just that, you won’t be disappointed. David Fincher’s film, based on Gillian Flynn’s novel of the same name, has all the shifty intricacies you’d hope for in a thriller.

ALMOST FAMOUS: The Sublimely Intelligent Rock ‘n’ Roll Trip, 14 Years On

A predominantly accelerated 15-year-old called William Miller (Patrick Fugit) is embarrassingly out of sync with his snarling high-school mates. His mother Elaine (Frances McDormand) is an English teacher who worries about William’s influences and invites rowdy laughter from his classmates when she shouts, “Don’t take drugs!” to him while dropping him off.

TUSK: Hard To Watch For All The Wrong Reasons

What do Fleetwood Mac, surgical mutilation and a delightfully chubby Haley Joel Osment have in common? Along with a recurring erotic nightmare of mine, Kevin Smith’s new film Tusk. Based on an episode of Smith’s long-running “SModcast,” Tusk tells the story of podcaster Wallace Bryton (Justin Long) who embarks into Manitoba on a quest for new material.

A NEW MAN: Charles in Charge

Everybody takes break-ups differently. Some people get a dog, others will join the gym, and a few people fall into complete melancholy. The short film A New Man is a study of the third result.

TIME TRAVEL LOVER: When Hannah Met Matt, and Matt, and Matt

Time travel can be a tricky plot device. Stories can defy their own time travel rules or become so convoluted that you struggle to follow it at all. With the hundreds of movies that feature different aspects of time travel, it can also be difficult to bring a fresh, original idea to the screen.

FOAM DRIVE RENEGADES: Puppets Abound

One of the best qualities you find in the cinephile world is a film that doesn’t take itself so seriously. Truly, what better way to do that than with puppets? Drugged up puppets that rob convenience stores.

TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES: Leave Your Childhood At The Door

I am a member of a generation that covets nostalgia more than any that has come before it. The Internet allows us to relive our childhood memories whenever we wish. It can be comforting to look back at the cartoons you watched as a kid or be reminded of that candy you loved that has since been discontinued.

Guardians of the Galaxy
GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY: A Stellar Star In The Sky

The best film of the summer is here, and it is the Guardians of the Galaxy. After months of promos and trailers, the time has come to see Marvel’s newest addition to its universe of superhero films. According to The Wrap, it got started with a nice boost from Thursday night showings with $11.

THE EXIT ROOM: A Gourmet Review

What’s on the Menu? The Exit Room is a film written and directed by Todd Wisemen (Improv Island, Manifesto). It stars Christopher Abbott (Martha Marcy May Marlene, All That I Am) as Joseph Michaels, a journalist facing execution in a futuristic America.

LIGHTS OUT: What’s Lurking In The Dark?

I was first introduced to this short film by the director I’m working on a short film with. I showed him Francis, which reminded him of Lights Out, so he showed me. Trust me when I say I’ve already been seeing things when I turn off the lights around the house since I saw the short.

DAWN OF THE PLANET OF THE APES: An Exceptional Blockbuster

Dawn Of The Planet Of The Apes is the sequel to Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes (2011), which heralded the latest reboot of the Planet Of The Apes franchise. Dawn presents a story much more intelligent than you’d expect of a blockbuster, its creators having put an overwhelming amount of effort into creating a world that is believable, into creating a wholly new culture for characters that are unique and relatable, furry or not. Rise was good, but Dawn is even better.

SNOWPIERCER Is A Smart, Fast-Paced Blend Of Action And Visual Creativity

There is only one theatre within reasonable driving distance where I can go to see the smaller, limited release films that come out. On their website they list any small film as an “art film”. When I finished watching Snowpiercer this title seemed like a complete misnomer.

Pioneer
PIONEER: 20,000 Lies Under The Sea

According to my personal checklist, the extent to which a film can affect a viewer is a mark of its quality. Pioneer must have done something right, because it absolutely wrecked my sense of calm. A full 24 hours after watching director Erik Skjoldbjærg’s thriller for the first time, I still find myself feeling strangely uneasy – stealing glances over my shoulder, eyeing my friends and family with icy distrust…I even threw out a plate of unattended food on the off chance it had been poisoned by the shady agents of a deep-sea drilling conglomerate.

9 MINUTES: Are They Aliens, Machines or Alien-Machines?

I’m going to preface this article by saying I’m very set in my ways. Taken into a different context that means I’m old, and at the ripe wizened age of 27, I shun your new fan-dangled ideas of what makes a good movie. Furthermore I will use this mindset in reviewing the short film 9 Minutes.