ARCTIC DOGS: An Uninteresting Animation That Even Kids Will Struggle To Enjoy

Animated movies are always cute. It’s something you can bank on. You know that (at least some of) the characters will likely be adorable, even if the storyline is lacking in action, drama, or surprises. 

A fine animated film will have something for kids. A good animated film will have something for adults. A great animated film will have something for both. Unfortunately, Arctic Dogs doesn’t have anything new or funny to share, and even lacks in the cuteness department.

The Highs

The voice acting in the film is good, slightly above passable. Alec Baldwin does great voice work in the role of PB, the name of a polar bear which now sounds quite lazy. Jeremy Renner has fun with the lead character of Swifty, a snow fox who just isn’t likeable. The best performance in the film comes from John Cleese in the form of a walrus villain named Otto Von Walrus, another creative name to add to the list.

While most of the slapstick humor falls flat, a few jokes shine through. Swifty does the classic “98, 99, 100” pushup routine in front of his love interest Jade (Heidi Klum in a true mail-in performance). That brought about a chuckle. Additionally, the “Resistance”, or a couple French otters, were amusing at times! 

In a different world, this is a film that teaches kids about the dangers of global warming, and arctic drilling. The components for a meaningful film actually are there, but the director Aaron Woodley opts instead for cheap comedy with a dash of frantic action. Still, a bit of credit can be given to the creator Matthew Lyon for attempting to incorporate the effects of climate change into a kids movie, even if it’s an experiment gone wrong.

The Lows

A list detailing the failures of this movie would be too long for one review, but let’s still go through a few of them. Arctic Dogs revolves around a snow fox named Swifty, a character whose biggest dream is to be a mail-carrying dog. The dream itself makes no sense because he’s not a dog, and though it’s appreciated that Woodley is giving credit to the mail system, there are no real stakes throughout the film. 

We have no clue what the villain is working on until the final third of the film, and the villain himself, Otto Van Walrus, is only evil because his ideas have been shut down throughout his career. He wants the BAD GAS, an awful name for an evil gas, in order to create a better mail system. It’s astonishing how much mail delivery chatter exists in this film.

The animation is completely fine. It’s nothing new, nothing you haven’t seen before. To reiterate an earlier point, nothing in this film is adorable. The villain has little puffins as his very own Despicable Me minion-ripoffs, yet they’re annoying if anything. For context, director Aaron Woodley voiced the puffins. How could he not realize that these minions, the ones he was voicing, weren’t cute?

Swifty’s idols, the sled delivery dogs, turn out to be washed up. There’s almost a lesson of not having heroes, for they will disappoint you in the end. It’s all backwards. 

To top it off, each of the workers in the delivery center have a foreign accent. The leader, a total waste of Anjelica Huston, is a Russian or eastern European moose. The facilities beavers are Italian (though they sound quite Latin American). His albatross friend is clearly Californian, voiced by James Franco, a man severely lacking support at the moment. As stated, the conspiracy theorists are French. All of these accents, these international characters, are unnecessary and bordering on problematic.

The Verdict

The idea of creating an animated film focused on climate change has merit, and this shouldn’t stop another filmmaker/writer from tackling the subject. Sneaking in political content into children’s movies has been practiced since the start of the genre, yet we haven’t seen much talk of global warming or climate effects in the last decade. Unfortunately, a good idea doesn’t always translate into a good movie, and this is the case with Arctic Dogs.

Kids and parents alike will struggle to enjoy this film. The kids within my screening were squirming and wiggling around, unable to stay focused on the story unfolding on the screen. There was a lack of drama, a lack of excitement, and a lack of action until the final five minutes. Kids should likely wait until Frozen 2 for the next animated hit. 

Arctic Dogs exists as an animated film that you should miss. If you have kids, don’t waste the time or the money, and stay home to watch a Pixar classic for the 10th time. It brings little joy and little innovation to the table, and despite the big name voice actors, there are more paydays than performances.

What’s the worst animated movie you’ve seen this decade? Le us know in the comments below! 

Arctic Dogs was released in theaters in the US on November 1, 2019 and the UK on November 8, 2019. For all international release dates, see here.