Film Inquiry

The 2010s All-Decade Oscars: And The Nominees Are…

source: The Academy of Motion Pictures Arts and Sciences

I did my fair share of complaining after last year’s Oscars ceremony in my first column for Film Inquiry. My mantra of justification for paying even an iota of attention to the Academy Awards is because I concluded that since the industry thinks they are important, it’s necessary to discuss the ripple effects that the award have on representation and career trajectory of its winners and nominees. As we all know, they get it wrong… a lot.

When I was a dumb kid, I treated the Oscars like a legacy-defining parameter the way that All-NBA Team selections and championships determine the legacy of NBA players. Art is after all subjective, so this was never a proper analogy, but there was, and still sometimes is, a sense of fun in looking back at the Oscars as a historical record book for who was relevant during which time and sometimes, you find big surprises (did you know in 1959, the Oscars nominated The 400 Blows, North by Northwest, and Wild Strawberries for Best Original Screenplay? What a lineup!), and years where big winners were movies no one ever remembers or cares about anymore (really, who ever talks or thinks about 1966 Best Picture winner A Man For All Seasons, or 1985’s Out of Africa?).

Lupita N’yongo during her acceptance speech in 2014 – source: ABC

In the lead-up to yet another Academy Awards filled with wrong decisions, we have online discourse that is driving everyone insane if more-so for the fact that this year’s ceremony is coinciding with the Democratic primary elections and the slow ruinous collapse of everything around us. In that sense then, the Oscars should serve as a respite right? Right? No? Ok.

Anyway, this year instead of an article complaining about the Oscars, I decided to selectively fix them. I decided to go back to the last 10 years of the Academy Awards and pick out five nominees and a winner for each category. My editor asked if I wanted to take a public poll to determine the nominees and winners, but I decided to make this process completely self-serving. As the late NBA Commissioner David Stern said after being asked how it was decided to wave off the Chris Paul-to-Lakers trade, “the votes were unanimous… 1 to 0”.

What’s that? Am I just doing something totally pointless like this to distract myself from the complete shitshow of the Iowa Caucuses? Why would you say that? Shut up! This is…. The 2010s All-Decade Oscars!

A few rules before we begin:

  1. Only films that were actually nominated at the Oscars in a particular category can be nominated for that category.
  2. 10 Nominees for Best Picture
  3. 3 Nominees for Make-Up & Hairstyling
  4. 5 Nominees for every other category
  5. At least 1 female nominee for Best Picture (producer), Best Director, Screenplay (both adapted & original), International Feature, Documentary (short & feature), Animated (short & feature), Live-Action Short.
  6. No actor/actress can be nominated twice in the same category.

Ready?

The 2010s All Decade Oscars

Best Documentary – Short Subject

Best Documentary – Feature

Best Live-Action Short

Best Animated Short

Best Animated Feature

Spider-Man: Into The Spider-Verse (2018) – source: Sony

Best International Feature Film

Best Original Score

Best Original Song

Best Visual Effects

Best Sound Mixing

Best Sound Editing

Best Production Design

Mad Max: Fury Road (2015) – source: Warner Bros.

Best Costume Design

Best Make-Up & Hairstyling

Best Film Editing

Best Cinematography

Best Original Screenplay

Best Adapted Screenplay

Barry Jenkins at the Vanity Fair Oscar Party on Sunday, Feb. 26, 2017 (Photo by Evan Agostini/Invision/AP)

Best Actress in a Supporting Role

Best Actor in a Supporting Role

Best Actress in a Leading Role

Best Actor in a Leading Role

Best Director

Best Picture

The Tally

3 Awards – The Tree of Life, Inception, Mad Max: Fury Road

2 Awards – Carol

1 Award – Lincoln, The Master, 12 Years A Slave, Moonlight, Hugo, Interstellar, A Star is Born, Parasite, Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse, Stutterer, Fresh Guacamole, O.J. Made in America, Period. End of Sentence.

Thoughts? Share below. And while you’re at it, share your All-Decade Oscars winners, too.

 

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