The Best and Worst of the 2015 Golden Globe Awards

And with that, the 2014 awards season is in full swing. The Golden Globes are like the Oscars’s boozy younger cousin. Maybe not as big of a deal, but dammit that cousin is so much more fun. Tina Fey and Amy Poehler returned to host their third (and final) ceremony. They were, unsurprisingly, charming, and all the celebs in the audience seemed to be having a grand old time. I had an unusually hard time figuring out how which actors were drunk, though, which was very disappointing. There was no Diddy making a fool of himself after what I am guessing was 3 bottles of champagne. There wasn’t even something as memorable as 2013’s Tommy Lee Jones death stare. All in all, it was a rather tame show. Not a waste of time, but not something particularly memorable. The Fey-Poehler era didn’t end with a bang, but their time as hosts will still be looked back on fondly.

As for the awards, Richard Linklater’s Boyhood came away with the most prestigious award: Best Picture, Drama. Overall, it seems that Boyhood left the best impression on the Hollywood Foreign Press, and you almost couldn’t look away without hearing the film mentioned. Like many people expected, it looks like this awards season may be the Season of Boyhood.

Now, on to the superlatives!

Best Joke (Host Edition)

Tim Burton’s Big Eyes received several nominations at the Globes and Tina Fey and Amy Poehler gave the film a shout out in their opener. After saying they mentioned that one of the famous “Big Eyes” paintings was being featured at the show, the camera cut to Emma Stone, who, if you haven’t noticed, seems to have eyes the size of pool balls. Stone was a good sport about it and mocked herself a bit, so it was okay for all of us to laugh too.

Biggest Risk

I am writing this immediately after the awards ended, but I can guarantee that the Bill Cosby joke will be all that anyone is talking about. Making Bill Cosby jokes is nowhere close to novel anymore, but it could be a bit out of place at a Hollywood boozefest. Tina and Amy busted out some less than stellar Cosby impressions after joking that Sleeping Beauty is raped by the comedian in Into the Woods. The joke… did not play very well with the crowd. Mostly silence and gasps. But, man, if Tina and Amy didn’t commit. I guess SNL alums are used to grinding through live jokes that don’t play well with audiences.

Best Joke (Presenter Edition)

Two of the first presenters of the night were Jennifer Lopez and Jeremy Renner, who presented two awards. Renner was rocking the standard black-and-white tux look, while J-Lo wore a dress with crazy cleavage and a crazy high leg slit. I noticed. You noticed. And Jeremy Renner most definitely noticed. As they were readying to reveal the winner for Best Actor in a Mini Series, Renner gave the envelope to Lopez to open. “I’ve got the nails,” she said. To which Renner responded, “You’ve got the globes, too.” I laughed. Hard. I am a simple man.

Biggest Surprise

My adoration of Birdman is no secret. I imagined it and Boyhood were locks for the two Best Picture categories., which would make a solid storyline going into the Oscars. Instead, The Grand Budapest Hotel snuck in and swept the rug out from under my feet. It was a huge surprise. Birdman won its fair share of awards, but The Grand Budapest Hotel beat it when the stakes were highest.

Best Use of the “F” Word

Kevin Spacey. ‘Nuff said. Although, after the joking, he did give one of the best written speeches of the night. Well worth a watch.

Best Audience Member

The Internet loves Benedict Cumberbatch, and his Meryl Streep photo-bomb will add gallons of fuel to that fire. Early in the show he had a nice bit where he raised his hand to win a contest as the ceremony’s first presenter, as well. He gets to have the best name, tons of talent, and infinite charm? Lucky bastard.

Biggest Revelation of the Night (For Me)

With Boyhood cleaning house, I decided to look up Richard Linklater on IMDB, because what else was I supposed to do? I scrolled through my phone until my eyes grew to the size of Emma Stone’s in shock. Richard Linklater directed School of Rock?! I knew Jack Black had a work relationship with him, but I thought it was just from Bernie. So the man who directed Boyhood also directed a comedy where Jack Black starts a rock band with middle schoolers? Cool.

Worst Accessory

Robert Downey, Jr.’s big, stupid, blue-tinted, thick-rimmed glasses. Prince wore crazy glasses, too, but he is Prince so it makes sense. You, Mr. Downey, Jr.? You are no Prince.

Best Foghorn Leghorn Impression

Late in the ceremony, a scraggly man walked to the stage to present an award. He was sporting a nasty beard and slicked back hair. If he traded the tux for a tee shirt, I would have believed you if you said that he was homeless. This man was Matthew McConaughey. He then proceeded to read his cues like a Southern Antebellum lawyer. “Ah say, ah say, ah say…”

Worst Trend

Throughout the night, presenters were sent to the stage to talk a little more in-depth about the individual Best Picture nominees. Someone decided that it would be a good idea to have performers from those films announce how great they are. It came off as arrogant and off-putting. Channing Tatum, for one, found this self-promotion very awkward and was visibly uncomfortable.

Best Speech

The best acceptance speech of the night didn’t come from the world of film, but from television. Young actress Gina Rodriguez shocked the world by winning the award for Best Actress in a TV Series, Comedy or Musical, for her performance in Jane The Virgin (a show that I, admittedly, have not seen). It took a while to gain her composure, but when she did, her words were moving and inspirational. Congratulations, Gina.

So that’s it for the 2015 Golden Globes! It was, overall, an above-average awards show, which means it was actually pretty average television! Keep track of the rest of the awards with Film Inquiry.

What did you think of the Golden Globes? Was it a good final year for Tina Fey and Amy Poehler as hosts?